"We Should Hang Out" Usually Means No

You meet a guy. Good conversation. You laugh, you swap numbers or Instagrams, and one of you says it.

"Bro, we should hang out sometime."

Then nothing. Three months later you're strangers again.

I'll admit something. I say "we should hang out" too. And when I say it, a lot of the time it means no. It's what I say to people I'm not trying to become friends with. It's polite. It ends the conversation on a good note. It doesn't commit me to anything.

With the guys I actually want as friends, I make a plan.

Why "sometime" never comes

"Sometime" doesn't have a day on it. Nobody has to do anything, so nobody does. Both of you walk away thinking the other guy will text first.

And if he's the one who said it to you, don't sit around waiting on it. There's a good chance he meant it the way I mean it.

What a real plan sounds like

A real plan has a day and a thing in it.

When I met Brandon, we found out we were both into self-development and books. A week later we were both about to leave, so I said it. "Since we like this, what if we do weekly calls reading these?" He was down. He was really down. He's one of my best friends now.

None of that happens off "we should hang out sometime."

Use what you already talked about

You don't need a big invite. Take the thing you two already connected on and put a day on it.

"I've got an open mic Thursday. You should come through."

"I'm at the gym Saturday morning. Pull up."

If he says no, fine. You find out today instead of three months from now.

So this week, think of one guy you said "we should hang out" to. Text him with a day and a thing. Let me know how it goes.